12 Things You Only Understand If You’re Dating a Gangster from the 1920s

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Cuz you know how it is…

  1. That moment of panic when he comes home with lipstick on his collar, and the wave of relief when it turns out to just be the blood of a squealer.gangster1

  2. The mystery of how he’s always able to have a lit cigar in his mouth, even when he’s sleeping or in the shower.gangster2

  3. You beg him for months to see that new rom-com in theaters, but once he finally says yes, he gets sentenced to five years in prison.gangster3

  4. He makes you hide a flask in your garter when you go out, since he doesn’t believe restaurants can legally serve alcohol.gangster4

  5. When you wear a tight-fitting dress, and he shouts out, “Boy oh boy, get a load of them gams!”gangster 5

  6. The weekly ritual of bae hiding in the closet while you lie to the police about his whereabouts.          gangster6

  7. How grumpy he gets when you tell him that your first-born is a girl, and not a boy like you promised.gangster7

  8. That time you gave him an iPhone for his birthday, and he just stared at it and said, “I do not know what this is.”                                 gangster8

  9. Right as you’re about to go shopping, your ride gets blown up by a car bomb.gangster9

  10. The judgmental looks you get from so-called “friends” who question why you’re dating someone born in the nineteenth century.gangster10

  11. Having to put up with bloody murders of rival mob bosses on every religious holiday (really, Gino, can’t we have one Pentecost without the garrote wire?).                    gangster11

  12. How, despite all the little problems and literal impossibility of your relationship, you love him no matter what.gangster12

 

(All GIFS courtesy of GIPHY)
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