Monthly Archives: August 2014

4 Great Drinking Games for When You’re Low on Alcohol

beer pong

Ain’t got enough booze for a buzz? Check out these party games specially designed to keep the fun going long after your bottles run empty–you’ll be sloshed before even you’re done reading!

 

Old Brown Shoe

Best for: Partygoers with a retro vibe, a single beer, a lot of time on their hands.

How it works: Have everyone sit down in a circle and place their shoes in the center. As you begin to pass your solitary can of beer around, begin playing the entire Beatles’ catalogue in chronological order. When you reach the Harrison-penned 1969 B-side “Old Brown Shoe,” whoever is holding the beer has to chug the entire thing! Then everybody puts their shoes back on and leaves.

For extra fun: If somebody forgets to wear brown shoes, you have to start the game all over again!

 

Pick ’em Up

Best for: Energetic groups looking to save the world and get totally wasted!

Description: Grab all of your heaviest-drinking pals and join the Adopt-A-Highway program. Once you are assigned your stretch of interstate expressway, head out and collect as many discarded beer cans as you can! Knock back the dregs in each of the empties, and the first person to throw up loses.

Pro-tip: If the liquid in a bottle looks like urine, and it smells like urine, then you’re probably overthinking it. Just drink and have fun!

 

12 Apostles

Best for: Large groups who enjoy personal expression and a laid-back environment.

Description: Pack a suitcase of bathrobes and false beards, and meet your friends at a local church service. Make as many passes at the communion wine as you can, while changing into a different apostle costume in between each round. Whoever reaches or gets the closest to the divine dozen is the victor.

For extra fun: When dressed up as Judas, you are allowed to rat out your drunken friends to the priest, entitling you to all the silver coins in the donation basket.

 

Steam Up, Clean Up

Best for: Fans of danger and nudity, but mostly danger.

Description: Grab your hottest friends, strip down to a towel, and rent out a sauna for the evening. As you are steaming, give each person a bottle of hand sanitizer to finish as fast as they can. The combination of intense sweating and the ingestion of a gel solution that can be up to 85% alcohol will get you drunker than ever before, all while surrounded by a bunch of half-naked hotties. Score!

Pro-tip: This will probably kill you, but in a romantic James Dean sort of way.

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5 Things Guys Should Absolutely Never Say to a Woman

angry-woman-scared-man

It’s sometimes hard to believe that in this day and age, so many men still insist on treating their female counterparts as second-class citizens. Below I have compiled a list of some of the most utterly offensive things guys say just to try to sound cool. Let’s put an end to this rudeness once and for all, and make the world a better place for everybody.

 

1. “Tyler Durden is actually part of the narrator’s imagination.”

Unbelievable. You just revealed the twist ending to Fight Club, without even being asked. And the worst part is that you thought you could blab all about the shocking conclusion to David Fincher’s 1999 masterpiece just because your listener was a woman. Personally, I wouldn’t be surprised if your so-called “girlfriend” was made-up, just like Tyler.

 

2. “Hey, I got us some bubble gum ice cream!”

You make me sick. While ice cream is normally a delectable summer treat for all ages, bubble gum is easily the worst flavor. I mean, there are actual chunks of chewing gum crammed into every bite. What, do you really think you can just go around handing out food that’s not even edible? Disrespect to the max.

 

3. “Budapest is the capital of Romania.”

Really!? Because the last time I checked, Romania’s capital city is called Bucharest. Just because the two names sound similar doesn’t mean you can throw them around like they are interchangeable. You have serious issues recognizing individuality, and that is a major turnoff with the ladies.

 

4. “Pardon me, but would you mind holding this shredded human viscera for a moment?”

Maybe once upon a time it would have been perfectly acceptable to rope an innocent woman into your serial killing spree, but those days are long gone, pal. Next time you are about to brag all your grisly crimes in public, just remember to keep it to yourself.

 

5. “Kevin Spacey is Keyser Söze.”

Way to go, creep. Angry about getting turned down at the bar again and again, you’ve now spoiled two of the greatest plot twists of 1990s cinema. When it comes to assholes, you truly are one of the Usual Suspects.

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