Monthly Archives: May 2014

What Your Favorite Radio Genre Says About You

Your fancy psychiatrists and parole officers will tell you otherwise, but you can find out all you need to know about yourself just by looking at your car radio presets. Read on to the bottom to discover who you really are, and don’t touch that dial!

Image

Alt Rock: You’re most likely wearing black to reflect your teenage angst and growing bangs to hide your teenage acne.

Blues: You must be up early on a weekend to listen to that honey-voiced DJ, Danny Fitz, from the Blues Hangover on WHRB.

Christian: You love Jesus, but hate yourself.

Classical: Appearing intellectual and sophisticated is important to you. Plus, you really like that one Beethoven song that goes “DUN DUN DUN DUN!”

Classic Rock: Whether you’re an out-of-touch dad or a young person desperate to not fit in, the Doobie Brothers are your Gospel.

Country: Friends have never considered you to a brilliant thinker, but you do understand the simple pleasure of listening to music about a pickup truck while driving a pickup truck.

Hip-Hop: Your radio’s got the bass turned all the way up, since you one day aspire to be both gangsta and legally deaf.

Jazz: You know how to appreciate the little things in life. Heck, if you look out the window and listen to jazz at the same time, you’re practically watching the Weather Channel!

Latin: Not only are you likely Hispanic, but you also enjoy listening to songs about gasolina, whatever that means.

News: Sorry, old timer, but no matter how badly you want it, you aren’t going to hear any more of FDR’s Fireside Chats.

Polka: You don’t care what the others think. You may not have many friends, but at least you have your accordion. Stay gold, Ponyboy.

Sports: It’s Saturday night and you’re alone and drunk in your apartment. What do you do? Probably call in to the station to trash talk professional athletes while you eat cheese curls in your underwear.

Talk: You don’t have many opinions on the news of today, but you will once a respected stranger tells you what they should be.

Top 40: You have failed to grasp true art and creativity, much like Hitler, but without his political success.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Why You Should Eat More Breakfast in Bed

Image

A recent study by Yale University’s crack team of scientists has finally answered the scientific question of the ages–is it healthy to eat breakfast in bed? The answer is an overwhelming yes. Here are Yale’s main points behind their big discovery:

  • Bed sheets are basically giant napkins
  • Lower probability of getting into a lethal car crash
  • Rare opportunity to scratch your groin with pieces of extra-crispy bacon without being scolded
  • Bobo the teddy bear is hungry for oatmeal
  • You can stuff your Tempur-Pedic mattress with fluffy pancakes for the ultimate comfort experience
  • Since it is a classic mother’s day tradition, you can finally experience all the joys of being a mother without the gross stretch marks
  • If you’re feeling lonely in bed, some friendly mice might join you
  • Toasty bed will remove the need to buy an actual toaster
  • Ability to fall asleep mid-meal without the public humiliation
  • The aroma of warm maple syrup will help cover up your morning breath
  • Safer than its counterpart, Dinner on a Deathbed
Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Chess Records Orgy Tomorrow Morning

Image

Attention music fans:

Tomorrow morning (Sunday the 11th) from 5-11am EST, I will be hosting a Chess Records orgy on WHRB. Yes, I said orgy–it’s radio talk for a marathon show centered on a certain musical theme. And this orgy is every bit as exciting as it sounds.

From the 1950s through the 70s, Chicago-based label Chess Records represented many of America’s premier blues, soul, R&B, and rock and roll artists. We’ll be playing the best cuts from Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf, Etta James, Chuck Berry, and many more. If you’re around Boston, you can tune in at 95.3 FM, and otherwise you can stream the program live at whrb.org.

Catch you all tomorrow morning.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

The DOs and DONTs of Job Interviews

Sage career advice from a yet-to-be-employed Harvard student. Easy tips to bring in the big bucks and land the job of your dreams, allegedly.

Image

DO: Make lots of eye contact. It’s like shaking hands with your eyeballs! And if you really want to engage your interviewer, you are going to want to get as much of this as possible. Make the effort to press your nose directly agains hers. Once you get close enough that it looks like you are staring into the face of a cyclops, you have hit your sweet spot.

DONT: Sit down right away. Instead, explore the space of the room a bit while doing some light dynamic stretching. The biggest mistake that rookie interviewees make is forgetting to loosen up their hammies, which can really hurt once the immunity challenge comes around.

DO: Ask lots of questions. Establish a personal bond with your potential employer. What is his favorite part of working at the office, what does he like to do in his free time, does he have any children, are there any points in which his children are home alone, what are some of his children’s biggest fears, etc. Just basic stuff.

DONT: Share any personal information. Sudden questions about your name, address, work experience, and greatest weaknesses? Sounds like a Grade-A identity theft scam. Nice try, Radio Shack.

DO: Bring along an elderly shut-in. The old geezer likely has not had a real conversation in six months, and will be pathetically unprepared to provide critical answers during the interview process. You will look like a genius in comparison. Bonus points if he craps his pants or starts rambling about Christmas during the Great Depression.

DONT: Kill the interviewer at the end of your conversation. In most cases, you are not actually competing to take that specific interviewer’s position, so killing them will not help, and may even harm, your chances of getting the job.

Tagged , , , , , ,