Why You Should Eat More Breakfast in Bed

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A recent study by Yale University’s crack team of scientists has finally answered the scientific question of the ages–is it healthy to eat breakfast in bed? The answer is an overwhelming yes. Here are Yale’s main points behind their big discovery:

  • Bed sheets are basically giant napkins
  • Lower probability of getting into a lethal car crash
  • Rare opportunity to scratch your groin with pieces of extra-crispy bacon without being scolded
  • Bobo the teddy bear is hungry for oatmeal
  • You can stuff your Tempur-Pedic mattress with fluffy pancakes for the ultimate comfort experience
  • Since it is a classic mother’s day tradition, you can finally experience all the joys of being a mother without the gross stretch marks
  • If you’re feeling lonely in bed, some friendly mice might join you
  • Toasty bed will remove the need to buy an actual toaster
  • Ability to fall asleep mid-meal without the public humiliation
  • The aroma of warm maple syrup will help cover up your morning breath
  • Safer than its counterpart, Dinner on a Deathbed
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