Monthly Archives: August 2013

Danopticon Publications

Photo on 8-18-13 at 7.34 PM-2

Our new line of books is coming out soon, featuring mentally-stimulating reads across a variety of genres. Here are some exclusive previews:

 

“There’s Blood in My Stool,” and Other Common Resumé Mistakes

Ever find yourself puzzled about what to include on your resumé? Well here we have all the answers on what you should leave out, from gross medical information to embarrassing family secrets. You’ll never feel ashamed in an interview again!

 

The King James Bible (Sticker Edition)

Had enough with the Word of God? Why not try the Word of Fun! Our completely blank Bible comes with thousands of religious stickers, allowing you to invent your very own holy story. Who says that Mary and Goliath never teamed up to smite every tax collector in Sodom? Not your Bible, that’s for sure.

 

Trail of Tears of Joy

This historically accurate account retells the heartwarming story of how President Andrew Jackson bravely led the Indian peoples of the Southeast to the paradise of Oklahoma–a shining example of different people coming together to achieve a common goal, effectively ending all problems in the Native American community for generations to come.

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Would You Rather? (August 2013)

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Would you rather:

Have all of your meals consist solely of food that you dug out of a dumpster?

OR

Only be allowed to eat pet food for the rest of your life?

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Career Regrets

I tried being a porn star, but I got fired. I named my penis Muhammad, and they could never show it on camera

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Live Performance of the Week: “Let’s Go Get Stoned” by Joe Cocker

They say that the key to effective communication is to “know your audience,” and Joe Cocker takes this adage to heart with his song selection at the legendary Woodstock Festival. Everyone in this video appears a bit too busy exploring the outer dimensions of the music to notice how desperately they need a shower.

This doesn’t mean Cocker being dishonest about getting stoned, of course. Cocker looks like the type of guy who’s had to endure through many lifetimes, all of them chemically enhanced. Still, he–and whatever he’s on–makes for an entertaining show. While we at The Danopticon certainly do not condone drug use, we do recognize its occasional value in the artistic process. So even if your “bad habit” is just a few too many Oreos, don’t be afraid to enjoy the music and flail your arms around with Joe.

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