- If you were stranded on an island and could only bring 3 things, would the island be somewhere off the coast of Russia?
- Which member of your family is the worst at keeping secrets?
- What’s the silliest reason you’ve ever fired somebody?
- Share your “jedi name” by taking the first three letters of your mother’s maiden name, and then add the title of the last document you secretly burned in your fireplace.
- If you could have dinner with any one person, dead or living, where would you store the tape of your conversation?
- What’s the most unusual thing you have in your pockets right now? Go ahead, show us!
- Imagine you create your own country. What’s it called, and what would be the easiest way to interfere in its elections?
- If you could switch bodies with anyone in the world, would they take the fall for something you did?
- What personal object or piece of evidence would you put in a time capsule that wouldn’t be opened until long after any statute of limitations expires?
- Name your earliest memory of helping someone commit a crime. Feel free to whisper your answer into this plant if it makes you more comfortable.
- What’s the most special gift–including bribes–you’ve ever received? How about a gift–including bribes–you’ve given to someone else?
- What modern-day war criminal do you feel “gets a bad rap?”
- What’s your favorite place in the world where someone has urinated on you?
- Clap once for every dollar you paid in taxes last year!
Dan Fitzpatrick 