MOVE IT, FOOTBALL-HEAD!
These are words ingrained into the mind of every child of the 90s. We know them, of course, from beloved Nickelodeon cartoon ‘Hey Arnold,” a popular show about kids growing up in the big city. But beneath its original, thoughtful humor, was ‘Hey Arnold’ pushing forward a secret message?
Is it possible, nearly twenty years in advance, that it predicted…
It sounds crazy, at least until we take a look at the season 1, episode 11b story entitled, “Cool Jerk.” Here, Arnold is thrilled when he befriends a cool, older guy, but his new buddy has some sinister plans for our good-natured hero. In addition to telling a great story, this episode is also a perfect allegory for the New England Patriots’ deliberate tampering of footballs during the 2014 NFL postseason. All the pieces are there.
1. Arnold is a football!
The entire series goes out of its way to prove that Arnold is basically a football. Aside from his unique head shape, Arnold’s personality encompasses many of the core tenets of football. He is fun-loving, team-oriented, and all-American. Arnold, like a football, is harmless enough on his own, but when in the wrong hands, he is capable of unleashing a world of destruction.
2. Frankie G. is Tom Brady!
Frankie G. is a one-off character in “Cool Jerk” who bears an eerie resemblance to New England Quarterback Tom Brady. Like Brady, Frankie is popular, stylish, and a born leader, at least on the surface. Once confronted with something they desire, however, both men display a sick urge to do whatever it takes to win. He even tells Arnold, “Sometimes to be cool, you’ve got to bend the rules a little.”
Still not convinced? Get this: neither Frankie nor Brady was selected in the first five round of the NFL draft.
3. The store is the Superbowl!
Not long after Frankie takes Arnold under his wing, we soon learn Frankie’s true plan: for Arnold to rob an electronics store. Granted, Frankie is not the first or last person to cheat his way to victory, but his methods for doing so are strangely familiar. You see, the store is only accessible through a distinctive football-shaped window, one which Frankie shoves Arnold through headfirst. In other words, Frankie’s plan for success revolves around unlawfully manipulating the size of a an ovular object.
Remind you of anyone?
4. Gerald is Roger Goodell!
Ultimately, none of the characters face any real consequences for their wrongdoings. In the middle of the would-be robbery, police sirens ring out through the streets. Frankie and his cronies (the Patriots) flee, leaving poor Arnold stuck in the window. However, the noise was nothing but Gerald, Arnold’s best pal, sporting a hand-cranked siren. Gerald forgives Arnold and takes him home, mirroring the weak leadership of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. Both really only care about being perceived as the main influence on their beloved football, even while more corrupt forces determine the behavior of that football. Meanwhile, Frankie gets off scot-free, without any kind of jail-time, similar to Tom Brady’s evasion of a mere four-game suspension.
And here’s the freakiest part of all: “Cool Jerk” aired in 1996.
So there we have it–a veritable conspiracy. Who can say why or how this prediction happened? Perhaps Nickelodeon has some connections to the Illuminati. Maybe they were just the only ones who saw it coming. Regardless, you can witness the truth for yourself here.