The White Protagonist of Every Racially Themed Sports Movie

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  • “I’ll tell ya, Jerry—the 1960s—what a time to be alive! I’m young, white, handsome, and the star of my team. We’re gonna have a big season this year. Our traditional, All-American town is counting on us.”
  • “What!? Look here, Coach, I ain’t playing with no (Negroes/Chinamen/Swiss)! They don’t belong with us white folk. They’re too (violent/dishonest/unwilling to share the secrets behind their luscious chocolates).”
  •  “You don’t like me? Yeah, well I don’t like you either, Willie!”
  • “Coach, I’ve been thinking about that speech you gave. Maybe you’re right. Maybe all we need to do is work together, and our differences won’t matter.”
  • “Yeah, I think you’re a pretty good player too, Willie. I have a feeling that our athletic experiences are about to intersect with larger social developments in a meaningful way.”
  • “ Hot dog, We can’t lose!”
  •  “Listen up, Mr. Restaurant Manager, you will not stop my racially diverse friends from using your restroom. It’s not about the color of your skin, because we’re all the same on the inside. And how do I know that? Because in that bathroom, the stuff that comes out from our insides is all the same colors, and that means something.”
  • “I think we have brought the entire community together just in time for the big game.”
  • “I…I don’t know how to say this to you fellas, but I can’t play in the championships tomorrow. The doctor says I’m paralyzed from the scalp up.”
  • “You’re right, wise black groundskeeper. I’ve come too far to let my team down. You can go back to mowing the grass now.”
  • “That was a rough first half, guys. Just remember—friendship first, and winning second.”
  • “Willie, you just made an improbable play, and we won! Racism is dead.”
  • “I’m an old man now, and the past fifty years of my life are presumably unimportant. But boy oh boy, was that championship season something. It was so great that I’ve apparently accomplished nothing ever since.”
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2 thoughts on “The White Protagonist of Every Racially Themed Sports Movie

  1. This made me chuckle a bit.

    What about the scene where something violent and unsolicited happens to the black player, and the white player looks on, guilt ridden but unmoving. That’s usually the impetus for the heart-warming change.

    Regardless of the severity of the beating it’s either black eye or total death. Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to play / be a tool for the white lead’s moral development. Plus, emotions.

    Oh, and the redneck father who is the representation of “old ways”. He’s always a good’un.

    Liked this, will read more.

    1. Haha, good point. If movies have taught us anything, it’s that people are only capable of changing after violent, traumatic episodes.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

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