Hi, I’m Ammon. You’ve probably heard about me, on account of me and my friends throwing the coolest sleepover of all time. Jealous, buttface? Well don’t sweat it, because you too can be a radical dude who doesn’t answer to anyone—especially parents.
- Instead of using a crummy old basement, make a sweet fort! Simply drape a blanket across some couch cushions, or take over a federal building in Oregon.
- As long as you’ve still got your cowboy hat on, you can change into your footsie pajamas and not get called a little baby.
- Once it’s dark out, pass around a photo of a pretty lady in a bathing suit. Talk about how much action you’d get if the government wasn’t always in the way.
- Everybody gets a little bit homesick sometimes, so it’s okay to sleep holding a teddy bear or assault rifle.
- Have mom pack lots of extra snacks. VERY IMPORTANT!!!
- I like to bring along my dad’s lighter to play with, and maybe set a pile of leaves on fire. It’s my property, so I can do whatever I want with it!
- Lamewad neighbors might try to get you to go to sleep around 11:30, but the Constitution says you can stay up later if you want to.
- Don’t tread on my sleeping bag.
- Make sure everyone’s parents are there to pick up their kids and their guns the next morning, and nobody will go to jail.