Global warming–the topic that few people know about, but everyone is an expert on. Aside from all the chatter on the news, however, there are some huge consequences that nobody is even bothering to mention. Here are ten ways the world as we know it may change forever:
- Higher temperatures will make hot pants the only tolerable clothing option for men, women, and children across the world.
- Continued deforestation may clear out enough space to put in that pool you’ve always talked about.
- The scented candle industry will make millions more as people try to offset the pervasive stench of body odor.
- Apocalyptic climate shifts may result in a Waterworld-style scenario, giving Academy Award winner Kevin Costner one last shot at redemption.
- Something will probably happen to the polar bears, but I don’t really care. What did they ever do for me?
- Rising sea levels worldwide may ruin my hopes of ever finding Atlantis, and I’ll never be able to fulfill my grandfather’s dying wish.
- In a climate where human beings struggle to survive, bringing up the weather in conversation will not longer seem boring or trivial.
- People across the world will mysteriously “forget” to invite their outspoken activist neighbors to their coal-fueled outdoor barbecues.
- That candy bar in your pocket is going to melt.
- If global warming kills Planet Earth, then we won’t have to argue about whether or not it exists anymore.
The Danopticon 