Profound Messages from What Would I Say?

Within the past half hour, What Would I Say–the app that reforms your Facebook posts into insightful new messages–has shown me the secrets of the universe and articulated facts about myself that I never knew existed. Here are some highlights:

Philosophy

  • Because you’re never been in one day of the euphoric sensation of human being emptied out
  • Maybe it will launch the lighthouse into space.
  • Some simple logic now=2012=apocalypse; Tim Tebow performs miracles; Jesus performs miracles; Jesus Christ.
  • This is the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

Celebrity Gossip

  • We never thought Hank Williams Jr. would consider himself a gigantic, multilevel facility.
  • FITZ AND sour soup inches away from Lady Gaga.
  • Chad Qualls should never have trusted the weekend.
  • Appropriately, there was an anchorman reference asshole.

Personal Manifestos

  • Wham bam thank you, I will be making a bold reemergence into popular culture.
  • just found a penny in the Vietnam War.
  • All these commercialist hypocrites are my hero, tyler
  • I have an indefinite amount of joy from personal crisis.
  • Here’s a glue stick.

This was a lazy post. Thanks for reading it anyway.

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