Tag Archives: crap

Perfect Mother’s Day Gifts for Moms Who Love Crap with Random Words on Them

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You know what they say about mothers—everybody has one. Whether she squeezed you out of her insides or just snatched you from a daycare, she’ll always be Mom to you. And nothing makes her happier than some ordinary object with a single, unrelated word scrawled across its surface. We’re here to help you make Mother’s Day extra special by giving Mom something else she doesn’t need!

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‘Thanks’ Milk Jug

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What better way is there to show off your gratitude to dear old Mom than with this tasteful dairy arrangement? This milk may go bad after a couple weeks, but at least your maternal devotion will never expire! Also available in soy and almond milk for mothers who hate themselves.   $61.95

 

‘Whisper’ Tissue

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Remember those days when you could tell Mom anything, when it was the two of you against the world? We’ve recreated that precious age with the ‘Whisper’ Tissue. From the outside, it looks like an ordinary hanky, probably filled with mucus and miscellaneous bodily fluids, but within it houses a sweet, tender message. Another secret just for you and Mama!     $28.95

 

‘Hide’ Knife

 knife

Oops, you really messed up this time. How did things with Janet go so wrong so fast? Mistakes are inevitable, but at least mom’s always there by your side. Commemorate your special bond with this lightly-used kitchen knife. Mom will treasure it forever, and hide it someplace safe where nobody will ever see it’s diamond-cut edge or luxurious no-slip grip again.     $45.99

 

‘There’ Dental Floss

 floss

Flossing and relaxing—those are two things moms don’t do enough. Whenever mothers get overwhelmed, they like to close their eyes and imagine a special place, where everyone is happy and made more informed decisions about birth control during their teenage years. And when it comes to picturing this new age destination, the more vague the better. Help your mom go ‘there,’ with this intricately decorated floss case. It’s guaranteed to be a constant source of comfort as she stares hopelessly into her reflection in the mirror every morning and night.     $46.00

 

‘Lady’ Travel Mug

 mug 

Moms have lots of jobs: cook, cleaner, driver. I guess that’s about it. But once you peel back all those layers, you’ll notice that your mom is also a lady. Make sure everybody knows it with this fashionable travel mug, which combines on-the-go convenience with a sprinkle of feminine flair! Warning: do not microwave, or else it will literally melt her heart.     $24.50

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